Ok, before you start to read this post I really want you not to judge me and not stop reading my blog when you read this post.........
I went to my "friend's" 18th birthday party last night.
I went out with the intention of getting drunk.
I know it was recommended in a previous post that I shouldn't but, to be honest, things just keep getting worse in my life and I really just wanted to forget for a while.
Ok, I've been drunk before. But never REALLY bad.
Yesterday was REALLY bad. I ended up getting lead out the back by security because I started to get sick. I was getting sick at the side of the road for god only knows how long. A young couple were walking by and they stopped to see if I was alright. They stayed with me rubbing my back as a puked my ring up.
They rang my friends with my phone after I managed to spit up a name for them to call.
My "friends" arrived and helped me up. Three out of the four of them left but one of them stayed with me. He was my BEST friend since I was like 5, up until we went to different high schools.
But he was there last night and stayed with me when I was at my worst. He brought me back to his place and let me sleep in the spare bed.
It is EXTREMELY comforting to know that the friendship we had those years ago is still there.
I will always be sooo grateful to him for being there for me last night.
I have now made a promise to myself to NEVER let myself go back to that place.
No more drink. I will not let anyone affect me like they have ever again.
I actually have tears in my eyes as I write this post.
I'm turning over a new leaf.......
I'm starting a new life.....
I'm actually a little scared right now...........
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About Me
- LonelyBoy
- My thoughts and goings on in my life.....I'm a closeted irish bisexual 19 year old who struggles his way through life... Into music and theatre. Love Shakespeare and Gilbert and Sullivan! Can't wait for college next year!! Gonna be sooooo much fun!!!!!! msn: shox1718@hotmail.com twitter: lonely18boy facebook: (email me and ill decide whether or not to give ot to ya! :S ) Also, if ya want to be included in my 'Faves' list just ask and it shall be done! :)
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11 comments:
I'll still be here....
Mate, its ok, everyone does ti happened to me this summer. I can understand how bad it is. You feel so lost, and out of control... And so helpless, you have to rely on others...
The morning after I said : no more drink. Ever.
But it doesnt work. You just cant give it up. Its like with everything really. Just control it. Everytime you drink take a break, wait for the last drink to come in before you go onto the next. If youre already tipsy Think back to that time, and stop dirnking. Youll be fine, seriously.
xxx
You don´t have to be scared. You can go back. You can drink, but now you know your limits. Stay within them and you will be fine. Stay as you are and what you´re loved for. Propz Pilgrim
I agree with Pilgrim, you know your limits and drinking is ok so just don't go over board
And I can't judge you b/c I hate being judged myself and besides now you have learned your lesson
Oh, boy, don't be like that, you'll make me start crying again, I agree with pilgrim, you only have to know your limits, and about your friend, it shouldn't be to us you telling you feel grateful, I think you should tell HIM that. Don't be scared, you're not alone. I love you kid, take a lot of care of yourself.
love
me
I'm totally with Pilgrim too. use it as a valuable lesson that you've lived thru.
really sorry you were so down.
*Hugs*
torchy!
I'm with Pilgrim as well, you admit you made a mistake and now it's time to look past that, know your limits and you'll be fine. I'm glad to hear your friend is so caring and thoughtful, people like that are those who will never abandon you no matter what happens, keep them tight. Take care, mate.
All the best,
Phil
If you are already upset then drinking is never the answer..., please take it from someone who knows. I know what you are feeling and I can appreciate why you did what you did. But in the end, you just wake up feeling even shittier and a lot poorer.
Drink solves nothing. But it also doesn't mean that you should stop it entirely. Drink can be a good tool to lubricate social situations, especially if you are somewhat shy. Just as the others have said..., know your limits, stay in control.
I wish there was something I could do to help you, but I think that you have someone there already that you should talking to. The friend that took you home seems like a keeper mate. Perhaps you should reopen some lines of communication there.
Having said that I am here if you want to talk. commodoreoctavius@live.com email and msn.
Courage and Honour!
Octavius.
Speaking as a self-proclaimed drunk, lol (I don't mean to make light) and as a recently legal drinker of alcohol. You just kinda learn.
It's been like 8 months since I experienced what you experienced, puking your guts out/blacking out/saying things one shouldn't in company...
And after that stupid episode, I've learned to be better and just know your limits...and do it for recreation and not to "escape"
By the by, being drunk isn't an excuse to do dumb shit but I think that most people have been through that phase and most are pretty understanding when it comes to helping a drunk friend out.
They've done it to me, and I've done it to them. No judgements whatsoever.
hope you feel better,
FMS
Thanks guys.
I'm going to try and rekindle my old friendship with the guy who helped me.
Thanks for being so understanding. Thanks for everything.....
S xxx
Good to hear and I wish you luck with that
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