Sunday, October 25, 2009

Giving up......

Why does he hate me?
I'm his son.
Why does he treat me different to the others?
I'm his son.

I look at my friends and envy them when they talk with theirs.

That's why I can never tell him.
Because it's so bad now I can't imagine what I will be like afterwards.

I'm giving up........



S

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your father does love you and never ever think otherwise, he just doesn't know how to show it. Try getting closer to him, bond, talk. Trust me

LonelyBoy said...

You have no idea the amount of effort i put into our relationship. But NOTHING works. He still looks at me as though i'm not there. Still talks to me with NO emotion.
I have tried sooo hard to the point where I actually feel sick.....

Thanks though, you might be right. But i just dont have any spirit left to find out....

Pierre said...

Not that I'm in any position to give advice on this topic, but... When you look at this years later if you gave it your all youll know you tried. I dont think there will be any regret if you know what I mean. Scratch that, just keep on trying.

toddx said...

None of us knows your situation, so I will just say take care of and protect yourself. Your father may not know how to express his emotion. That is his problem and doesn't mean you're unworthy of love. You may have to find it elsewhere and you may have to find a different way for you and your dad to show mutual respect. If that's all he can muster, accept it and move on. Expecting things from people that are out of their character will only lead to further heartache. Best of luck to you.

Aaron said...

I spent most of my life hating my dad because of all the things he has done and not done to me. It was clear that he favoured my sisters over me and its also fairly clear that we didn't share a mutual love for each other. He didn't know I was gay nor do we have any real reason to not love each other - we just don't get along.

I used to love the songs Simple Plan's Perfect and Good Charlotte's Emotionless because it helps me tell the feelings I have for my dad. But after leaving home for the past 7 years, I've come to realise to appreciate him. We still don't talk much nor do we love each other more, but I don't pick fights with him anymore. We can have conversations like grown-ups.

Hang in there boy! :) You will get through this I'm sure and we all love you. Thinking of you.

Just said...

Yikes , I am really no one to give words of advice here. I mean, me and my daughter or not even talking and haven't in almost 6 months . I know every time she or I try it just gets fuck up. Mainly because I think we are so much alike in some ways. Others is I was hard on her going up( she being the first born.) She does have life mess up right now. But hell she has the right to. ( I will never know or understand her thinking on some issue you have to read my blog) She feels the same way you do ... I just want what is best for her, This issue we are fighting over could effect her the rest of her life. ( it's is her life) Now I dont get all control freak on her . But some issues I will not bend ... she sees this as I don't like her. Further from the true. Sorry given in isn't a option on these issues. I am her father and not a friend. But know it kill me , there not a day that goes by that I don't think of her. I am still proud, I still love her with all my heart. I just have to step back and let her make her mistakes. I drew the line. She hates authority and thinks she a adult ( which she isn't yet by law) I hope that what you Dad doing ... Not saying it right. I damn sure don't know you situation. I know fatherhood doesn't come with books. All I can tell you is don't give up maybe step back . He may thing this is a phase you going threw. I sorry you going threw this ... lol oh yeah I did the same thing with my dad . Btw who do you thing I ran to for advice now .... Talk to him and listen. Now that being said some parents do want there kids to fail, sometime you just have to move on . If you want to talk my email is in my profile.