Worthless........

So,

I've just got back from a vigil in my school church. A student in 3rd year has cancer in the liver and badly needs a transplant. He's travelled to England and is now waiting for a donar.

When I planned to go to the vigil
I thought there would only be a few people there. I was wrong. The church was packed out the door. And it's a big church for a school! It was sooo touching seeing everyone united supporting the student. We're a small enough school so everyone kinda knows each other, and not everyone is catholic or a particularly devout catholic. I'm not a catholic either(not aethist either, just have my own views and believe in god). But EVERYONE crowded into the church while the very beautiful vigil was held. Everyone stood when they were supposed to. Everyone knelt when they were supposed to.
I think seeing that was the proudest moment I've had in my school(and I'm not particularly fond of my school).

Halfway through the vigil I realized that no kid should be going through this. He's 14! He's right now reading a book FULL of comments from EVERY student in the school wishing him well, but he's still frail and bed bound.
He dosn't deserve to be there. He is a good kid.
Why do these things happen to the good guys instead I the bad ones?? He always was good in school and got good grades. It's just not fair.

I felt sick as I sat there realizing that I deserved to be there more than him.
I've lied, cheated, stolen, bitched, fought.
He didn't.

If I could switch places with him I would. I don't even know him really. But I know enough to know that he shouldn't be there.

His life is worth a damn sight more than mine,
Who decides that he should still be exposed to this?!

Again,

It's just a fucked up world I guess......

Sxx

S xxxx