........so this isn't working out as I'd hoped it would.... 3:18 AM

Ya know, this whole 'College being a brand new start thing' isn't quite working out as I'd originally hoped.

I've been looking forward to college for the past 2-3 years thinking that when I got here I'd be completely myself, and I'd make friends and have actual people to talk to.
Yeah....eh....that's not really what's happend.

I think it's my fault. I'm just really anti-social it turns out. I'm always just too exhausted to go out to parties and such. That's mainly because of the ridiculous amount of rehearsals I have on at the moment for two shows. But I think that it's also part of me being a little depressed. I have the best time in rehearsals. I'm really 'fitting in' there and feel like that's where I belong. But there's always that part of my brain that keeps telling me that this won;t last. When you're finished this you'll be back at home...alone....and back at college....alone....back to the 'real world'. This is really where the title of my blog comes in: life really does suck....theatre is a different life for me. I WISH that could be my life. That I could just do it all day everyday. But I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon.

I know NOONE who's doing my course! Everyone else I know is doing arts subjects, which means they're always on the other side of campus. I wish I could just start talking to someone and make friends that way. But the thing is with my course is that for the first two years of my course(which is a specialized nanoscience degree with only 9 people in it) all my lectures are with the general science students,...all 250 of them. So the person I meet on Monday might not been seen again for another couple of months. :/

I'm sitting here in college on a bench....by myself. I'm watching people go by happy and getting on with their days. I sit here cold(because it's raining) and tired, and feeling like I wanna go home and sleep for a week.

**

I've started rehearsals for 'Beauty and the Beast'(The musical). They started on wedensday. I walked in a bit late, as I had lectures till 8, and what was the first thing that I saw????????
'Him' with his boyfriend.
.....right........
Now, even though his boyfriend turns out to be a really nice guy and all, I don't think I could take 2.5 months of this.
*sigh*

**

I've also realized something recently.......I've never been in love.
That is something I crave sooooooooooo badly. Not just for someone to love me, but for me actually to love someone. I've never loved someone.
Depressing.

That's my life........FML.....


Sxxxxx

Shows, shows, shows.....and 'him'....... 5:06 PM

Hey Blogland!

Another long overdue post!
Sorry! I've been very busy with rehearsals for a few shows. The first was 'The Pirates of Penzance'. It was a spectacular show! The best show I've been involved with to date! We had a fantastic line-up of main principals! Very accomplished across Europe were the stars of this show, so we had a lot to live up to! :P
It was such a physical show! I'm still finding bruises I didn't know I had on my body! :P
It ran for a total of 6 nights, with a matinee and an evening performance on the last day!
Here's two of the promotional pictures for it! I'm not in them as it's only the main leads! :P

It was a fantastic show and now it's over :'( And I just finished another show after that! It was the opera 'La Traviata'. It was also in the National Concert Hall. It's a professional company so it's tough work! The music was very hard to learn but it's beautiful music and exactly what I love singing! :)
The girl in white in the photo above is playing the lead in the opera. She's AMAZING!!! And she's just lovely. Not a diva in anyway(which is hard to find in this profession). She's tipped to be the 'next big thing in Irish Opera'. So it's an honor to work with her!


Also, rehearsals are well underway for a show called 'Showstoppers'. It's also in the National Concert Hall. I actually can't wait for this one because I've got a part in it! I'm in several group numbers and I got the part of 'Action' for the 'West Side Story' number 'Officer Krupke'! I'm soooo excited :) And also, they're doing numbers from shows like 'Hairspray', 'Wicked', 'My Fair Lady', 'Sweet Charity'! It's gonna be brilliant! We've got a professional choreographer directing the show and choreographing it. She's brilliant. For the finale of the show we're doing 'You can't stop the beat' from 'Hairspray'! I cannot wait to dance to that! Heehee, I'm sooo excited!! :P
Here's the poster for it :

  

Also, in other news I got a new laptop from which I'm currently blogging! :) It's brilliant! I love it so much. It's HD and all, so I can watch all my hd films on my computer :) :) And it's nice and compact for college which started a few weeks ago. College is brilliant! I love it so much! :P
So yeah, that's my life to date. However, still no boyfriend :'( I met 'him'(see this post) again in 'La Traviata'. He was also in the chorus. It was soooooooooooooooo difficult seeing him again. I'm falling for him all over again. :( I also just came back from a trip down the country to promote another show starting at Christmas. It's the Wizard of Oz and I had to dress up as the 'tin man', 'he' had to dress up as the 'scarecrow' and another guy dressed up as the 'lion'. And we also had 'dorothy' there too.
So that was hard sitting right next to 'him' for 2hours in the car up and back from the trip. We get on soooooooooooo well though! :( It's sickening! He sends out so many signals as if he's interested! I'm so confused! He's still going out with his boyfriend. They're going out for about 18 months now. But he was telling me in the car that his bf isn't the type of person who he would have seen himself with. I don't know what that means! :S He also said that they've had a few fights because hus bf is a very jealous person. I have no idea of what to make of him!
It's killing me and I know that this is sooooo much more that a crush! And I need to deal with it because I'm starting rehearsals with him again next month and wont be finished untill mid february! :S

*sigh*

Ps. My blog had it's first birthday last month and I forgot! :S Ah well! A belated happy birthday to me! :P

Sxxxxxxxxx

Results and College!!!!!!!!! 2:14 AM

So,

On Wedensday, the 18th of August I recieved my Leaving Cert(final exams in high school) results! I can tell you now that I have never been so nervous in my life!! It was worse than actually doing the exams!
So I went back to my, now old, school and waited in line to recieve my results. I went into my vice-principal and sat down with him and he handed me my certificate. I was so nervous i took about 30 seconds before I looked down at the piece of paper which would pretty much decide the next 4 years of my life!
This is what I saw!

Irish - B2(ordinary level)
Maths - B2(honours level)
Chemistry - B2(honours level)
Physics - B2(honours level)
English - B2(honours level)
Music - B1(honours level)
French - C2(honours level)

Thats 470 points! The whole system is marked out of 600. And 470 is judged as very good considering the average points for the country is arounf 340-350!
I was soooooooooooooo over the moon! More than I dared to hope for!!
That put me back in with a chance to go to Trinity College! Trinity is the BEST college in the country and with points like mine I had a chance!!! I had originally given up hope for it all the way back in February!
Now I just had to wait until the 23rd of August to see what college offers I get and see if one of them is from Trinity College!!!
I went out that night with some friends to celebrate! It was a great night! One of the best i've had in a long time! :D

--

Today was the day I was waiting for! 'Offers' day!
Offers were posted online on my CAO account(CAO is a liason system that colleges use to offer places) from 6am onwards! Needless to say that I was up at 6am waiting for the offer to come in.
I went onto the website at 6am only to find that the server had crashed due to almost every student in the country trying to check their account at the same time! lol
So eventually it came back up at 630am and I check my account...............I GOT OFFERED A PLACE IN TRINITY COLLEGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was the course I wanted the most! Its a specialized science course. I never thought that I would get it in a million years! :D But I did!
I am now a Trinity College student! One of the top 50 universities in the world, THE best in the country!
I'm so happy right now its riddiculous! :D

I should be starting on the 23rd of September! I cannot wait!!!!! And to top it of its the most accessible college, transport-wise, for me! So it'll be easy going in and out from my house!
I am over the moon!!!!!!

Now I can just relax and worry about nothing for the next month!!!! :D

*Victory dance*


I am now a college student! :D

Sx

Quick update! 4:19 PM

Heya guys!

Just a quick update seen as I havnt given any in AGES!! :P

Rehearsals for 'Pirates of Penzance' are going fantastically! :) it's going to be amazing!!!! Like, seriously, probably the best show I've ever been involved in! :)
Can't wait for opening night! :)

Also, went to a friends bday party last night. A nice night. Bit boring, but when the hot straight guy got his cock out (jokingly :P) I cheered up :P


Also, I got DailyBooth! So I should be taking regular pics I hope.
If you want the address just ask and I'll pm you! :)

Okies!

Talk laters!!!!

Sxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Best friend..... 3:46 PM

I need a best friend.
I think it's a necessity in life really. Ever since I realized my 'best friend' was a homophobic fucktard(sorry for the language) I havnt had that one constant person in my life.
Everyone needs that someone who knows you in and out. Who you can go to anytime and just hang out.
I've lost that.
I need it back.
This sucks.

Sxx

Exams, Pride, and becoming 'gayer'?? 3:04 AM

So,

I finished my final exams(my leaving cert) last thursday! You cannot imagine how happy I am!!!! I honestly thought this day would NEVER come!! Lol
Now I just need to wait for my results in August and then....COLLEGE!!!! I can't wait for college! I really hope it'll be a turning point in my life! :)
**
I went to the Dublin Gay Pride Festival on Saturday. I went by myself cause I didn't have anyone to go with. So I followed the parade through the city. There were over 22,000 people IN the parade!! That's amazing considering only 5,000 were in it last year! And then there were over 100,000 people watching it!
The bigest Irish pride festival ever! I'm so happy I went. I stayed for the whole parade and went to watch a bit of the outdoor party in the city. I met a few people from BeLonGTo there as well. B2 had a big part in the parade. They had a 'rainbow dance' thing. Lol.
Here's a pic of them with their giant rainbow sticks they had on their backs while dancing:






I talked to a few of them for about 20mins and then they kinda drifted away. So I left. I saw a good few people I knew in the parade! People I never knew were gay! So that was nice!





So I was happy I went to at least watch the parade! Next year I hope to fully experience the pride festival with all it's aftershow parties! :)
Here's a pic of a very funny side of a float in the parade! :P






On another note, I think i'm becoming 'gayer'?? Lol!
I find myself REALLY looking at guys lately! Like, perving at almost EVERY opportunity! Lol Wierd?! Like, I used to have a pretty equal balance between liking girls and guys, but now it's 90%-95% guys! Not that I'm complaining! :P Gay pride was just a HUNK fest!!! Lol!!





Hello muscles...:)





The guy in the middle....*drool* :P

I also went to see 'Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time' today. And I have to say that Jake Gyllenhaal is astonishingly sexy in it! To be honest I have never really seen what others were on about when they talk about how hot he is, but now.....omg! :O :P
**
So yeah, exams over, summer beginning and now I'm getting 'gayer'! Summer will be interesting!! :P
Hopefully it will be fun :)


Thanks for reading!

Peace,


Sxxxxxxx

Alone... 5:07 PM

Once again I find my self pretty much alone.
I look back over my posts and it looks like I have come a long way, but I really havnt. Nothing that bears any significance anyway.

Yes, over the past few months I have come to accept who I am. I've come out to my mum. I made that first trip to BeLonGTo. But I am still here in bed think to myself that I 'still' have noone. No friends to talk to when I need them the most.
I have "aquaintances". That is all. Many many aquaintances. No true friends. I thought I might be making friends in B2 but it seems as though Patrick(my ex) has destroyed any chance of that happening. The people who I was trying to make friends with are also his friends and their attitude has changed towards me and I know it's because of him.

I just keep thinking to myself what if I hadn't lost my best friend back in september. For those of you who don't remember. I tried coming out to my very best friend and before I did I tried to see what his reaction would be. It turns out it would have been a bad one. I asked him(in the context of a conversation about a gay guy in a show I did) how would he feel if I was gay? He responded hestitantly by saying that I would still be his friend but he would treat me differently. You cannot imagine how heartbreaking it was to hear that. To, in that instant, lose someone who you thought was your absolute beat friend. And with him I lost others.
And now I'm back in that position with no one to talk to. No one's shoulder to cry on.
My life really does suck. Even the people who are in the show I'm doing are a bit assholish.
So I don't even have that to escape to.

I need help.

I need a release.

Ugh...

FML


S

Exams, exams, more exams..... 11:49 AM

Ok, seriously.

I'm going to go insane.

I'm in the middle of my Leaving Certificate exams at the moment. These are my final exams for secondary school(highschool) and then............COLLEGE!!!


I've already had English papers 1 and 2, and maths paper 1. English went great, maths went okayish :/
I've got maths paper 2 tomorrow and then Irish paper 1. Maths is going to be awful. My school is part of 24 pilot schools in the country trying out a new maths syllabus. It's soooooo different to previous years! So we have literally ZERO past papers to look back on. So we really have no idea of what type of questions will come up :(
Sure we know what topic will come up, but they're all soooo huge! Statistics, co-ordinate geometry, vectors, shit load of triganometry, and probability. So........FML!
Lol.
Irish will be a fine. Don't have to worry about that. That's a little stress off.

Here's my timetable if you want to have a look:

Wed 9th June - English paper 1
Thurs 10th June - English p2
Fri 11th June - Maths paper 1
Mon 14th June - Maths paper 2
- Irish paper 1
Tues 15th June - Irish paper 2
Wed 16th June -French
Thurs to Sun - Break
Mon 21st June - Physics
Tues 22nd June - Chemistry
Wed 23rd June - Break
Thurs 24th June - Music
FREEDOM!!!! :P

So as you can see there are soo many! :'(
Each exam is between 3 and 3.5 hours long.

Ugh!!!!
Anyways, I'm soo looking forward to finishing! The Dublin Gay Pride Festival is on two days after I finish!!!! I'm soooo going!! Lol.


It's gonna be amazing! Hopefully we'll get good weather for it though! :)

I'm also rehearsing for a show in the Irish national concert hall all summer and it'll be on in september. Then I've got another show in october, another one in november, and then another one on december! All in the national concert hall.
I may have taken on a little much?? Lol

Can't wait for college!!!!

Just need to get through all these exams in one piece! I have NEVER been soo tired in my entire life. These exams are unhealthily stressful! If you don't get your leaving cert you CANNOT get into any kind of remotely repectible college!
So no pressure! :/

Anywhoos!

Wish me luck!! :)

Sxxxxxxx

Auditions auditions auditions.... 2:34 PM

How's things in blogland???

I for one have been TOTALLY stressed with exams!!! It's ridiculous how many exams we have in Ireland compared to England and america :( grr!

Anywhoos, I had an audition for the chorus of 'the pirates of penzance' in the Irish national concert hall. I got in and rehearsals are going great! It's in September but rehearsals have started two weeks ago.

I also had an audition for beauty and the beast in the same venue. It's going to be a very big production! I auditioned for a part this time and it went well! I've worked with the musical director and the director before and they both said that my voice has improved leaps and bounds! So that was lovely to hear!!
I had to do some dialogue as well but as I had previously rehearsed with my american professor(vocal coach) an American accent. So I used an American accent but they told me to use a cockney English accent. I can do a cockney accent but all that would come out was american! Lol! They understood cause I had rehearsed American. So I hope I'll get a callback! :)

So, so far I have I have 'pirates' in september, 'la traviata' in October, a variety show in November, and 'beauty and the beast' in December(all in the national concert hall so that's a big venue!). I may be a bit busy!! Lol
Can't wait!!!!
:D

Anywhoos, exams are in 3weeks so I need to get my mind off all these shows! Lol

Love!!


Sxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My other blog! Please join! 7:40 AM

Hey blogland!

Just a quick post to ask if you could all join my new blog called 'The 'G' Scene'.

THIS BLOG IS NOT CLOSING!


This new blog is just a more open blog not connected to this one in any way. This blog is for me and you guys! And this new blog is for everybody! So, people I know can also see this blog. It's just a part of a project me and my friend thought up at B2. So please join!
I know you all won't get what I'm talking about sometimes given that it is an Irish blog with Irish LGBT news, but its just so that it gets a bit of blog-publicity and when people go onto it they'll see that it has a bunch of followers!

It would mean LOADS to me if you would follow it!!! Thanks!!!!!

LOVE!!!!

Sxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Gay Prom!! :D 12:58 PM

Wat's up y'all!? :)


2 years ago in 2008 my gay gouth group 'BeLonGTo' headed the organisation of Ireland's first ever 'gay prom'. It attracted LGBT people from all over the country. 500 people in total filled an amazing venue in Dublin.

I wish I was there and had the chance to go. I've seen pictures and heard great stories of it!

And now........I found out that it's happening again this year!!!!!!!!
I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!! I'm sooooo excited!

Here's the poster for 2008's one!

One problem though.......
I need a date!! lol

It's not until November, but still! lol. You need to plan these things!! This is going to basically my Debs(Prom) since I can't really take the person I'd want to take to my school one! lol

I need to meet new guys!! It's still really hard though! I'm still new to this whole gay scene, but hopefully this summer will open new doors :)

Anyone wanna come to Ireland and be my date!?!!?! :P


Peace out! :P

Sxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A weight off my shoulders............... 10:41 AM

Hey Y'all! :)

How's things in blogland???

My news is all pretty good for once! :D

So as most of you know, my final exams are in June. And in the run up to these exams there are several practical exams to do. I have a french and irish oral exam and also a music practical exam in which I have to perform a repertoire of 8 pieces(and this music practical counts for 50% of my exam!)

These all took place over the past two weeks ending with my music practical. Irish went well-ish(but I'm not terribly fussed over that subject), French went great. Apparently I know more french than I thought! And then my music practical went brilliant! I played four pieces on the piano and sang four pieces.

This was my repetoire:

Piano:

- Sonata in D Major, Third movement - Haydn (Went a bit of a disaster! :/)

- Poem - Zdenek Fibich (Went very well!)

- Jack in the Box - Bartók (Went great)

- I Dreamed a Dream - Les Miserable (Fantastic, the examiner even complimented me on my performance of the piece :D)

Voice

- Ich Grolle Nicht - Schuman (Went great, the examiner complimented me on the maturity in my voice :D)

- The King Of Love My Shepheard Is - Charles Gounod (Went very well! Very happy with it)

- In Diesen Hail'gen Hallen - Mozart's 'The Magic Flute' (Great!)

- Oh Better Far to live and Die - Gilbert and Sullivan's 'The Pirates of Penzance' (I thoroughly enjoyed this one! The examiner was even singing along to herself at one point! :D)

I was very happy with my performance overall! Forgetting about the first piece which was a disaster, but i'm just chalking that up to nerves.

In the second voice piece, my piano accompianist(aka. my voice coach) stops after the second page and goes "I'm soo sorry! I've forgotten a page!"

In my head I was like "WHAT!?!?!?!?!" lol

But the examiner was sooooo nice! She said to take my time. Luckily I had a spare copy of the music for my coach. I'm certain I didn't lose any marks from it as it wasnt my fault.

I love my coach like, but he scared me half to death then! lmao!

The examiner talked an awful lot in the exam too. I think it was just to calm me down because I was soo nervous! But she was asking me if I was a member of any choirs. I told her no. But I do do alot of musical theatre and opera. She asked me who I did it with and I told her the names of a few companies. It turned out that she knows ALOT of the directors and musical directors that I know quite well! It was such a coincidence! Hopefully that worked to my advantage and she mightn't have taken too many marks off for my first piece. But I doubt it! lol!

Anywhoos, I was very happy overall.

Afterwards my voice coach told me I performed brilliantly and told me he was very proud of me!

That meant so much to me. Because he doesn't dish out to many compliments. If you're not good, he'll tell ya! lol! I almost cried even! (I know, i'm such a girl! :P) But i kept it together! Ya know, to keep up my "mach straight image" lmao

So yeah, that's been my week!

Such a weight off my shoulders now! :) Nothing else left to do except for my exams in two months!

I pity the poor guys in my year who have a Religion or History or Geography project to hand in still! Some have all three! They're very big projects! I'm so glad I don't do any of those subjects! :D

So yeah. Thats all with me! :D

What's up with you peoples!? :P

Also, I'd like to give a big thanks to Pierre and Ethan for linking me in their posts! Two of my MOST favourite bloggers! If anyone else has linked me remind me! :D

PS. I'm thinking of starting a VLog?? What do you guys think??

I don't mind telling you guys who I am. But I'm kinda worried if anyone from school might find it on youtube??

I dont see how they would but who knows?

Anyways, tell me what you guys think!

Peace out! :P

Sxxxxxxxx

Birthday!!!! :D 5:55 AM

Happy Birthday to me!!!! 19 today! :) Im making sure that this year will be fantastic!! :)


Sxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My Return!!!!! 4:11 PM

Heyas,

So,

I know it's been aaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggeeeeesssssssss since my last post and I kinda left it on a bit of a cliffhanger with me coming out to my mum but i'm back now with LOADS of news so I have a feeling this is gonna be a long one! So if you wanna go to the toilet I would recommend doing that now! Lol

Anywhooos!

So, back to me coming out.
Well I told my mum after FINALLY pluking up the courage one night after having a long (tearful) chat with Patrick(my boyfriend). She seemed to take it well. And the next day was grand and so was the next and then she asked if I wanted to go get a coffee in the local cafe. So we did that and she brought up the subject of me being bisexual. She asked what's going to happen. How I'm going to deal with it. Then she started talking about how this is worse than bringing a girl home pregnant and how is she going to deal with her family, because a few are quite homophobic. And how she dosnt want me to be known as 'the gay guy' and she dosnt want me telling many people untill I'm finished my final exams.
Now, I was quite upset by the previous comments but that fucking hurt. How dare she say that?!? I wasn't going to tell anyone untill after them anyways but even so, she shouldn't dictate who I tell and when. Bearing in mind she hasn't once said "it's all going to be fine" or "I still love you" or "don't worry" or "how are you coping" or anything like that like a parent should say, since I told her. So I got kinda angry and we left the cafe and headed home. Then for the next 2 months I didn't talk to her at all!!! She didn't make ONE effort to try and talk to me, or try to fix what happened. Now I seriously didn't need this. All this on top of the stress of my final year??

Anyways, during those two months a bit happened. I kept going to BeLonGTo(my lgbt youth group) and that just kept getting better and better.
I even lost my gay-virginity(TMI??? Lol)!! Haha!!
But then a few weeks after, I broke up with Patrick. I could see he was properly falling for me but I really wasn't in the same place and I didn't see myself there in the future. So I said I couldn't have are relationship with all the stress of exams around and therefore wouldn't be able to see him. He went pretty insane! He said how dare I do this and I'm an asshole for how I treated him over the past few days. And I so WASNT! I just didn't text him as much, and when I did I wasn't too talkitive. And that's what you do before you break up with someone! You don't act so close so the break up isn't such a shock! It's not like I called him names, or insulted him. I just wasn't talkitive when we talked!
And he went pretty crazy at me.
And it stayed like that for a while. Untill he messaged me and started talking again still saying I was in the wrong(pffff!) but maybe we could start again after all the exams.
Now I don't particularly want to do that, so i said maybe(cause I didn't want to lose him as a friend and didn't want him to lose interest in me) but not to put all his hopes on me, because neither of us know where we'll be in July! So, that kinda leaded into him getting angry again and is fighting.
So this repeated itself a couple of times before finally settling. And I thought we'd decided to just be friends. Like, after all that arguing who would POSSIBLy get back together?! Lol

**

Anyways after all that, i kinda started talking to my mum again. Reluctantly, but I kinda had to even though it was her fault ad she should have fixed it. It was after I did the musical 'Grease' in my school(I was kinikki)and she congratulated me. And that kinda got the ball rolling. But ah well. We're taking again but she still hasn't mentioned anything gay related. So I think she's avoiding the subject. I don't really care anymore. I can't wait to be free in college on September! :)

**
Some fantastic news for me happened in February.
I went to audition for a VERY respected vocal teacher in Ireland. She is regarded as one of the best if not THE best vocal techer in the country!
I went to audition for her and I sang an Aria from Mozart's The Magic Flute. She said I had a lovely tone to my voice and that we could start in September if I wanted!!! OMG!!! Of course I wanted!! What an honour!!! She's coached some of ireland's and Europe's biggest operatic voices!! I am soooooooooo riddiculously excited!!! :D
Yey for me!!! Lol

**

Anywhoos,
That brings us up to Easter Sunday when I was asked if I wanted to go out to a gay club in town with two girls from BeLonGTo. I jumped at the chance, because I had never been at a gay bar as a gay guy(I had only ever been out with my theatre group when we went to support to of our friends who were doing a show at a gay club and I wasn't really out then). Also I had made really good friends with one of the girls so I wanted to hang out with her. So we went out and had a few drinks and we got kinda drunk! Lol. Then my friend(the one I've made good friends with) started kissing me! I didn't stop it because I did like her and we were both a little drunk. But I told her I can't haves relationship because of exams and such, and she said that's fine even though she said she really likes me.
So we kissed a few more times, and then we started talking about some other guys in the club(she's also bisxual) and there were two HOT barmen and we both talked about which one we'd take! Lol. I have NEVER had ANYONE that I could talk boys with! It felt GREAT!! Lol
Then later on she came back from the toilet and she told me she madeout with one of the hot barmen(who turned out to be sr8!). I was sooo jealous! She was nervous telling me bout it because she didn't want me thinking I didn't like her! I said I was fine with it because it wasn't like we were 'going out' or anything. We were both happy we could have 'that' kind of relationship.
So then the bar closed and we left that bar. We were still kinda drunk at this stage. And we ended up losing the other girl we came with and she ended up going home. So we felt kinda bad about that :(
But me and my friend headed to another gay club that was still open because she got a text from two of her friends saying that they were there. We got in and met with her friends. OMG, one of her friends was called Paul and he was sooooooo HOT! I think she noticed that I liked him, and I think she must have said something to him because the next thing I know he's kissing me pulling me against the wall! He had a tongue stud as well, and usually I'm not one for liking piercings but kissing someone with a tongue stud is soooooooooo hot!! Lol
Then throughout the night he was dancing with me pulling me by the hand and by the shirt and kissing me again. He was AMAZING! :D
We left the club with his friend and mine. We started walking through the city. It's about 3am at this stage. We stop in a doorway because my friends show fell off and then all of a sudden me and Paul are against the wall again making out. Lol
He is SUCH a good kisser!
If someone had told me last september that I woul be going out to gay clubs and making out with guys on the street at 3 in the morning, I would have laughed them away! But now I'm having sooo much fun!! :D

Anyways, I had to go home so I kissed him and my friend goodnight an headed home on SUCH a high.
This wasn't to last though.

Patrick had been in Italy for the past week. Then he messages me saying he knows about the gay club and stuff. I was like "ok"?? "and??"
He started giving out to me about lieing to him about not being able to have a relationship and yadda yadda. I said he was overreacting and that I didn't lie to him. I'm not in ANY relationship nor am I going to be. I'm allowed have fun with friends in a club not that it's any of his business. He still thinks that we could get back together after exams!!! For feck sake!! Go away now!! :S
We've argued and argued and argued and Ive sent soooooo many messages trying to send the message that I'm NOT interested anymore! He won't take it! Grrr!
So he got angry, we didn't talk for a few days and then he made up with me. He better not think we've still got a chance!! I swear to god!! Lol

Anyways, that brings us up to today
And that's blog up to date. Yeah, that's not ALL that happened, but I didn't want to make the post TOO big! Lol. So I picked the best bits! :)

I also noticed I have 51 followers?!?! When did this happen?!? Lol
I'm glad that that many people enjoy reading my blog even though it dosnt constantly have pictures of hot guys on it(I'M NOT CRITISISING BLOGS WITH HOT GUYS ON THEM!! I LOVE THEM!! NEVER STOP!! Lol).
Thanks peeps for sticking with me :)


So yeah,

That's me back on the blog scene!! :)

Hopefully I won't neglect it too much!

Love!!!!


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OMG! I did it!!....... 3:41 AM

OMG!!

I did it!

Came out to my mum last night!!

I'm practically still shaking!!

CANNOT believe I actually did it!!!

Went pretty ok!

Details later!!

Just thought I'd let yas know!!

Omgomgomgomgomg!!! :O


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A new year! And an amazing start!!...... 9:19 AM

Heya!!!

Sorry it's been aaagggeeesss since my last post!
I had started one a a few days before new years but my computer crashed and I lost a HUGE post! :(
Ah well! I'm here now!

Now, as some of you may know if you're following me on twitter, I now have a boyfriend!!! Yey!!!!
We made it official on Xmas eve! He's soo amazing!
He's a guy from B2! And his name is Patrick :D
He added me on facebook and then on msn and we just talked and talked!

I know I said in my last post that there were two guys after me. :P but finally decided! But not before someone else said that they'd like to go out with me!! This time it was a girl! She's bi and from B2. I told her that she was soooo nice and I really wanted to stay friends with her for the time being(cause I do actually like her).
So I chose Patrick! :)

And I'm sooo glad i did! He's been amazing! We've gone out heaps into town and had soo much fun! I absolutely loooovvveee kissing him!
So he's my first gay kiss! :)
It's so brill!!

He invited me to a party in his dads apartment on New Years.
That was the best party I've ever been at! I could TOTALLY be myself! And I could kiss my boyfriend whenever I wanted! :)
He introduced me to his dad(gulp) and he was such a nice guy! He had absolutely NO problem with his son being gay or having his boyfriend over.
He was brilliant!
Also, all Patricks friends were the nicest people on earth. I think I realized that the friends I do have, really aren't friends at all :( but no matter! I'm making so many friends between B2 and Patrick! :D

I then stayed the night with Patrick after the party had ended. We shared his bed.
Now I was insanely nervous at this stage. Cause it was pretty obvious something was gonna happen.
We didn't go 'all' the way, but we went as far as!
He is soooo sexy! Like, he really knows how to turn a fella on!! :P
I've also realized something about myself. I can't 'last' long at all! Lol! Like, he's superhuman compared to me!! Haha!
So it was definately a night of 'firsts'! And it was AMAZING!
We woke up the next morning and cleaned up after the party.
He then walked me to the bus stop where we found that the buses we cancelled on account of the HEAVY snow the night before! So I said goodbye and got a taxi. After spending 3 quarters of an hour in the taxi the taxi driver gave because he couldn't get around all the road blocks in place because of the snow :(
So I had to walk like a 2miles in the snow to get home! Lukily I didn't drink much the night before otherwise I woulda had a bastard of a hangover to boot!! Lol
Anyways I got home in the end safe and sound:D

Since then we've seen loadz of each other. And gone back to his place an cuddled in his bed.
I've realised that I NEVER get cuddled by ANYONE! The people in my life just aren't cuddlers. But now I have the best cuddler of all! :D

He's taking me out into town tomorrow. He says it's a surprise! I can't wait to see what he has planned! :D I'll post afterwards and tell ya what it entailed!


***

And now, on another, more frustrating, note....
My dad came into my room a few hours ago having searched for me on Facebook! He found that I was a member of 'Singing for supper at the george'(an event which some friends run in a famous gay bar in Dublin). He sad that it was completely inappropriate material to have on my Facebook page and if any of his work collegues or friends saw it, that it would be bad for him!!(we have same name).
He's always doing that! Always saying that anything I do comes back to him because we have the same name! Absolute bollox! If he didn't want that kind of a situation he shouldn't have named me after himself! >:(

He's already found loads of shit on the computer to prove I'm gay! So get over the fucking face and deal with it!
And stop fucking snooping around my PRIVATE Facebook page!!
UGH!! He's such an asshole!


***

I'm also thinking about coming out to my mum. I think she'll be more or less fine with it.


Anywhoos,

That's my life since I last posted!


I'll try post again soon!!!


Love you guys!!!!!


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