Exams, Pride, and becoming 'gayer'?? 3:04 AM

So,

I finished my final exams(my leaving cert) last thursday! You cannot imagine how happy I am!!!! I honestly thought this day would NEVER come!! Lol
Now I just need to wait for my results in August and then....COLLEGE!!!! I can't wait for college! I really hope it'll be a turning point in my life! :)
**
I went to the Dublin Gay Pride Festival on Saturday. I went by myself cause I didn't have anyone to go with. So I followed the parade through the city. There were over 22,000 people IN the parade!! That's amazing considering only 5,000 were in it last year! And then there were over 100,000 people watching it!
The bigest Irish pride festival ever! I'm so happy I went. I stayed for the whole parade and went to watch a bit of the outdoor party in the city. I met a few people from BeLonGTo there as well. B2 had a big part in the parade. They had a 'rainbow dance' thing. Lol.
Here's a pic of them with their giant rainbow sticks they had on their backs while dancing:






I talked to a few of them for about 20mins and then they kinda drifted away. So I left. I saw a good few people I knew in the parade! People I never knew were gay! So that was nice!





So I was happy I went to at least watch the parade! Next year I hope to fully experience the pride festival with all it's aftershow parties! :)
Here's a pic of a very funny side of a float in the parade! :P






On another note, I think i'm becoming 'gayer'?? Lol!
I find myself REALLY looking at guys lately! Like, perving at almost EVERY opportunity! Lol Wierd?! Like, I used to have a pretty equal balance between liking girls and guys, but now it's 90%-95% guys! Not that I'm complaining! :P Gay pride was just a HUNK fest!!! Lol!!





Hello muscles...:)





The guy in the middle....*drool* :P

I also went to see 'Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time' today. And I have to say that Jake Gyllenhaal is astonishingly sexy in it! To be honest I have never really seen what others were on about when they talk about how hot he is, but now.....omg! :O :P
**
So yeah, exams over, summer beginning and now I'm getting 'gayer'! Summer will be interesting!! :P
Hopefully it will be fun :)


Thanks for reading!

Peace,


Sxxxxxxx

Alone... 5:07 PM

Once again I find my self pretty much alone.
I look back over my posts and it looks like I have come a long way, but I really havnt. Nothing that bears any significance anyway.

Yes, over the past few months I have come to accept who I am. I've come out to my mum. I made that first trip to BeLonGTo. But I am still here in bed think to myself that I 'still' have noone. No friends to talk to when I need them the most.
I have "aquaintances". That is all. Many many aquaintances. No true friends. I thought I might be making friends in B2 but it seems as though Patrick(my ex) has destroyed any chance of that happening. The people who I was trying to make friends with are also his friends and their attitude has changed towards me and I know it's because of him.

I just keep thinking to myself what if I hadn't lost my best friend back in september. For those of you who don't remember. I tried coming out to my very best friend and before I did I tried to see what his reaction would be. It turns out it would have been a bad one. I asked him(in the context of a conversation about a gay guy in a show I did) how would he feel if I was gay? He responded hestitantly by saying that I would still be his friend but he would treat me differently. You cannot imagine how heartbreaking it was to hear that. To, in that instant, lose someone who you thought was your absolute beat friend. And with him I lost others.
And now I'm back in that position with no one to talk to. No one's shoulder to cry on.
My life really does suck. Even the people who are in the show I'm doing are a bit assholish.
So I don't even have that to escape to.

I need help.

I need a release.

Ugh...

FML


S

Exams, exams, more exams..... 11:49 AM

Ok, seriously.

I'm going to go insane.

I'm in the middle of my Leaving Certificate exams at the moment. These are my final exams for secondary school(highschool) and then............COLLEGE!!!


I've already had English papers 1 and 2, and maths paper 1. English went great, maths went okayish :/
I've got maths paper 2 tomorrow and then Irish paper 1. Maths is going to be awful. My school is part of 24 pilot schools in the country trying out a new maths syllabus. It's soooooo different to previous years! So we have literally ZERO past papers to look back on. So we really have no idea of what type of questions will come up :(
Sure we know what topic will come up, but they're all soooo huge! Statistics, co-ordinate geometry, vectors, shit load of triganometry, and probability. So........FML!
Lol.
Irish will be a fine. Don't have to worry about that. That's a little stress off.

Here's my timetable if you want to have a look:

Wed 9th June - English paper 1
Thurs 10th June - English p2
Fri 11th June - Maths paper 1
Mon 14th June - Maths paper 2
- Irish paper 1
Tues 15th June - Irish paper 2
Wed 16th June -French
Thurs to Sun - Break
Mon 21st June - Physics
Tues 22nd June - Chemistry
Wed 23rd June - Break
Thurs 24th June - Music
FREEDOM!!!! :P

So as you can see there are soo many! :'(
Each exam is between 3 and 3.5 hours long.

Ugh!!!!
Anyways, I'm soo looking forward to finishing! The Dublin Gay Pride Festival is on two days after I finish!!!! I'm soooo going!! Lol.


It's gonna be amazing! Hopefully we'll get good weather for it though! :)

I'm also rehearsing for a show in the Irish national concert hall all summer and it'll be on in september. Then I've got another show in october, another one in november, and then another one on december! All in the national concert hall.
I may have taken on a little much?? Lol

Can't wait for college!!!!

Just need to get through all these exams in one piece! I have NEVER been soo tired in my entire life. These exams are unhealthily stressful! If you don't get your leaving cert you CANNOT get into any kind of remotely repectible college!
So no pressure! :/

Anywhoos!

Wish me luck!! :)

Sxxxxxxx