Alone... 5:07 PM

Once again I find my self pretty much alone.
I look back over my posts and it looks like I have come a long way, but I really havnt. Nothing that bears any significance anyway.

Yes, over the past few months I have come to accept who I am. I've come out to my mum. I made that first trip to BeLonGTo. But I am still here in bed think to myself that I 'still' have noone. No friends to talk to when I need them the most.
I have "aquaintances". That is all. Many many aquaintances. No true friends. I thought I might be making friends in B2 but it seems as though Patrick(my ex) has destroyed any chance of that happening. The people who I was trying to make friends with are also his friends and their attitude has changed towards me and I know it's because of him.

I just keep thinking to myself what if I hadn't lost my best friend back in september. For those of you who don't remember. I tried coming out to my very best friend and before I did I tried to see what his reaction would be. It turns out it would have been a bad one. I asked him(in the context of a conversation about a gay guy in a show I did) how would he feel if I was gay? He responded hestitantly by saying that I would still be his friend but he would treat me differently. You cannot imagine how heartbreaking it was to hear that. To, in that instant, lose someone who you thought was your absolute beat friend. And with him I lost others.
And now I'm back in that position with no one to talk to. No one's shoulder to cry on.
My life really does suck. Even the people who are in the show I'm doing are a bit assholish.
So I don't even have that to escape to.

I need help.

I need a release.

Ugh...

FML


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Exams, exams, more exams..... 11:49 AM

Ok, seriously.

I'm going to go insane.

I'm in the middle of my Leaving Certificate exams at the moment. These are my final exams for secondary school(highschool) and then............COLLEGE!!!


I've already had English papers 1 and 2, and maths paper 1. English went great, maths went okayish :/
I've got maths paper 2 tomorrow and then Irish paper 1. Maths is going to be awful. My school is part of 24 pilot schools in the country trying out a new maths syllabus. It's soooooo different to previous years! So we have literally ZERO past papers to look back on. So we really have no idea of what type of questions will come up :(
Sure we know what topic will come up, but they're all soooo huge! Statistics, co-ordinate geometry, vectors, shit load of triganometry, and probability. So........FML!
Lol.
Irish will be a fine. Don't have to worry about that. That's a little stress off.

Here's my timetable if you want to have a look:

Wed 9th June - English paper 1
Thurs 10th June - English p2
Fri 11th June - Maths paper 1
Mon 14th June - Maths paper 2
- Irish paper 1
Tues 15th June - Irish paper 2
Wed 16th June -French
Thurs to Sun - Break
Mon 21st June - Physics
Tues 22nd June - Chemistry
Wed 23rd June - Break
Thurs 24th June - Music
FREEDOM!!!! :P

So as you can see there are soo many! :'(
Each exam is between 3 and 3.5 hours long.

Ugh!!!!
Anyways, I'm soo looking forward to finishing! The Dublin Gay Pride Festival is on two days after I finish!!!! I'm soooo going!! Lol.


It's gonna be amazing! Hopefully we'll get good weather for it though! :)

I'm also rehearsing for a show in the Irish national concert hall all summer and it'll be on in september. Then I've got another show in october, another one in november, and then another one on december! All in the national concert hall.
I may have taken on a little much?? Lol

Can't wait for college!!!!

Just need to get through all these exams in one piece! I have NEVER been soo tired in my entire life. These exams are unhealthily stressful! If you don't get your leaving cert you CANNOT get into any kind of remotely repectible college!
So no pressure! :/

Anywhoos!

Wish me luck!! :)

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Auditions auditions auditions.... 2:34 PM

How's things in blogland???

I for one have been TOTALLY stressed with exams!!! It's ridiculous how many exams we have in Ireland compared to England and america :( grr!

Anywhoos, I had an audition for the chorus of 'the pirates of penzance' in the Irish national concert hall. I got in and rehearsals are going great! It's in September but rehearsals have started two weeks ago.

I also had an audition for beauty and the beast in the same venue. It's going to be a very big production! I auditioned for a part this time and it went well! I've worked with the musical director and the director before and they both said that my voice has improved leaps and bounds! So that was lovely to hear!!
I had to do some dialogue as well but as I had previously rehearsed with my american professor(vocal coach) an American accent. So I used an American accent but they told me to use a cockney English accent. I can do a cockney accent but all that would come out was american! Lol! They understood cause I had rehearsed American. So I hope I'll get a callback! :)

So, so far I have I have 'pirates' in september, 'la traviata' in October, a variety show in November, and 'beauty and the beast' in December(all in the national concert hall so that's a big venue!). I may be a bit busy!! Lol
Can't wait!!!!
:D

Anywhoos, exams are in 3weeks so I need to get my mind off all these shows! Lol

Love!!


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My other blog! Please join! 7:40 AM

Hey blogland!

Just a quick post to ask if you could all join my new blog called 'The 'G' Scene'.

THIS BLOG IS NOT CLOSING!


This new blog is just a more open blog not connected to this one in any way. This blog is for me and you guys! And this new blog is for everybody! So, people I know can also see this blog. It's just a part of a project me and my friend thought up at B2. So please join!
I know you all won't get what I'm talking about sometimes given that it is an Irish blog with Irish LGBT news, but its just so that it gets a bit of blog-publicity and when people go onto it they'll see that it has a bunch of followers!

It would mean LOADS to me if you would follow it!!! Thanks!!!!!

LOVE!!!!

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Gay Prom!! :D 12:58 PM

Wat's up y'all!? :)


2 years ago in 2008 my gay gouth group 'BeLonGTo' headed the organisation of Ireland's first ever 'gay prom'. It attracted LGBT people from all over the country. 500 people in total filled an amazing venue in Dublin.

I wish I was there and had the chance to go. I've seen pictures and heard great stories of it!

And now........I found out that it's happening again this year!!!!!!!!
I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!! I'm sooooo excited!

Here's the poster for 2008's one!

One problem though.......
I need a date!! lol

It's not until November, but still! lol. You need to plan these things!! This is going to basically my Debs(Prom) since I can't really take the person I'd want to take to my school one! lol

I need to meet new guys!! It's still really hard though! I'm still new to this whole gay scene, but hopefully this summer will open new doors :)

Anyone wanna come to Ireland and be my date!?!!?! :P


Peace out! :P

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A weight off my shoulders............... 10:41 AM

Hey Y'all! :)

How's things in blogland???

My news is all pretty good for once! :D

So as most of you know, my final exams are in June. And in the run up to these exams there are several practical exams to do. I have a french and irish oral exam and also a music practical exam in which I have to perform a repertoire of 8 pieces(and this music practical counts for 50% of my exam!)

These all took place over the past two weeks ending with my music practical. Irish went well-ish(but I'm not terribly fussed over that subject), French went great. Apparently I know more french than I thought! And then my music practical went brilliant! I played four pieces on the piano and sang four pieces.

This was my repetoire:

Piano:

- Sonata in D Major, Third movement - Haydn (Went a bit of a disaster! :/)

- Poem - Zdenek Fibich (Went very well!)

- Jack in the Box - Bartók (Went great)

- I Dreamed a Dream - Les Miserable (Fantastic, the examiner even complimented me on my performance of the piece :D)

Voice

- Ich Grolle Nicht - Schuman (Went great, the examiner complimented me on the maturity in my voice :D)

- The King Of Love My Shepheard Is - Charles Gounod (Went very well! Very happy with it)

- In Diesen Hail'gen Hallen - Mozart's 'The Magic Flute' (Great!)

- Oh Better Far to live and Die - Gilbert and Sullivan's 'The Pirates of Penzance' (I thoroughly enjoyed this one! The examiner was even singing along to herself at one point! :D)

I was very happy with my performance overall! Forgetting about the first piece which was a disaster, but i'm just chalking that up to nerves.

In the second voice piece, my piano accompianist(aka. my voice coach) stops after the second page and goes "I'm soo sorry! I've forgotten a page!"

In my head I was like "WHAT!?!?!?!?!" lol

But the examiner was sooooo nice! She said to take my time. Luckily I had a spare copy of the music for my coach. I'm certain I didn't lose any marks from it as it wasnt my fault.

I love my coach like, but he scared me half to death then! lmao!

The examiner talked an awful lot in the exam too. I think it was just to calm me down because I was soo nervous! But she was asking me if I was a member of any choirs. I told her no. But I do do alot of musical theatre and opera. She asked me who I did it with and I told her the names of a few companies. It turned out that she knows ALOT of the directors and musical directors that I know quite well! It was such a coincidence! Hopefully that worked to my advantage and she mightn't have taken too many marks off for my first piece. But I doubt it! lol!

Anywhoos, I was very happy overall.

Afterwards my voice coach told me I performed brilliantly and told me he was very proud of me!

That meant so much to me. Because he doesn't dish out to many compliments. If you're not good, he'll tell ya! lol! I almost cried even! (I know, i'm such a girl! :P) But i kept it together! Ya know, to keep up my "mach straight image" lmao

So yeah, that's been my week!

Such a weight off my shoulders now! :) Nothing else left to do except for my exams in two months!

I pity the poor guys in my year who have a Religion or History or Geography project to hand in still! Some have all three! They're very big projects! I'm so glad I don't do any of those subjects! :D

So yeah. Thats all with me! :D

What's up with you peoples!? :P

Also, I'd like to give a big thanks to Pierre and Ethan for linking me in their posts! Two of my MOST favourite bloggers! If anyone else has linked me remind me! :D

PS. I'm thinking of starting a VLog?? What do you guys think??

I don't mind telling you guys who I am. But I'm kinda worried if anyone from school might find it on youtube??

I dont see how they would but who knows?

Anyways, tell me what you guys think!

Peace out! :P

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Birthday!!!! :D 5:55 AM

Happy Birthday to me!!!! 19 today! :) Im making sure that this year will be fantastic!! :)


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